Kanina lang sa school (sabado pero may pasok; pambawi sa suspended classes noon), may nabasa kong suggestions to cope with stress. Naaliw ako. Siguro one hundred and one suggestions yun pero tinapos ko ang pagbabasa. Naisip ko kailangan ko yun. Ilang weeks ba naman akong humataw sa school at sa paglalakad ng papers ko simula pa nitong start ng taon.

Ilan sa mga susubukan ko: stargazing, picnic, pet a dog, buy yourself a flower, memorize a joke, learn a new song, hug from a friend, smile to a stranger,...,dami pa. Eto dagdag ko: have massage, manicure, pedicure, face mask, walking, eating ice cream, go to a new place, mag-unli at i-send ang messages na nasa inbox sa mga kaibigan, kumain ng fruits, get in-touch with an old friend, look at your photo album, talk to yourself in the mirror, and more.

Excited na tuloy akong ma-stress. Hehe!

     God has His way of teaching His children. His way for me is through impression and through the preaching of His Word.
     When I went to the embassy last Tuesday, I felt in my heart the Lord was telling me to walk by faith, not by sight. The Visa Bulletin in the net says I'm due for interview this month, but until now I haven't received any notice. I was worried the embassy may not have received my letter regarding my change of address. When my tita and I went to Roxas Boulevard to check, we weren't able to get in. We arrived a few minutes after cut-off time. I had peace in my heart. I thought at least I was able to learn how to commute to that place, and bond with my tita at the same time. The guard advised that we contact the call center. Soon as I came home, I did. Realized that good thing though the call costs Php55/minute I was not infront of the Consul answering questions I wasn't ready to answer. It was a worthwhile experience because now I am much more ready to answer questions that the Consul might possibly ask when I get interviewed. Good news too I was assured that the embassy received my letter and that their record has my new address. Praise God! I had peace even before I heard the good news, but praise God He rewards our faith.
     I have waited for this interview for almost two years now. Not to mention my petition was filed a decade ago. It's difficult to wait. Especially for me who's type A personality. And for a teacher like me who wants to be in control of things most of the time, that's doubly hard. True I've waited this long, gone this far in the application, but the nearer it gets, the harder it is to wait. I am expecting the notice to arrive this coming week. To be honest, the days seem longer when you're expecting something.
     That's just me. God wants me to think otherwise. His Word is true. His promises He will fulfill. He always does what is good and He cares for us. Year 2000 I claimed Genesis 12:1-2, believing it was His word for me as I leave the country. Tuesday this week, I had the chance to recall that by chatting with a friend. Thank God I was reminded of that Word. Saturday, my meditation was on Hebrews 11:8 about Abraham who by faith "obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." This Sunday, I went to two Worship Services. In both times, the preacher said that God's promises are true and He will fulfill it. I am amazed at how God communicates to us. He wants me to believe in Him, and to continue believing, loving and serving Him whatever the outcome. That's faith.
     I am still anticipating for the notice of my interview schedule to arrive anytime this week. It may come soon or the following week. I am still uncertain of what I will do when I get to that other land. I am still hoping that things will fall into place smoothly as planned. Nevertheless, I choose to believe. I may not know how things will turn out to be, and when. Perfect situation for God to move and for me to obey. He says, "walk by faith, not by sight." Yes, Lord, I believe. 

     I am encouraged today as I attended church at GCF to reach out to my family and friends. I was touched by the preaching about Matthew the tax collector who obeyed Christ when he followed Him and brought his friends and colleagues to Christ. I am truly blessed by the life testimony of this church whose plans and programs are all geared towards missions.
     I realized that this is ultimately the purpose for our lives. I remember friends who exemplify a life of sharing Christ. There goes Ate Yah, whose faith led her to Germany and Brazil, because the Lord knew that she desires to lead others to Him through that  trip and conference. And then there's my li'l sis, Ja, who sees herself as a missionary and yet started to become one long ago.
     I know God has His own way of using me. In time, I will know how and I shall be able to fulfill His calling for my life.  Whenever that may be, "the mission is still the same: Matthew 28:18-20."

Mahirap pala kapag matagal nang nahinto sa kaka-blog. Well, nandito na naman ako kasi na-inspire ako sa isang blog na nabasa ko. Kahit nursing student siya, graduating pa man din, busy sigurado, kaya niyang i-maintain. Ganda nga ng blogsite niya eh. Gusto ko ganun din ang akin someday. Di man ngayon pero darating din tayo doon.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit parang ang tamad-tamad ko lately. Siguro kasi nagsasawa na 'ko sa mga ginagawa ko. Hindi ibig sabihin na madali ang trabaho ko. Mahirap nga talaga. Gusto ko pa rin naman ang trabaho ko pero kailangan ko lang ng iba pang gagawin. Diversion ikanga. Para ba mas ganahan ako kumilos. Daming bang excuses?

Isa pang dahilan siguro kasi kagagaling ko lang ng Baguio para sa isang Leadership Conference. Nakapahinga ako doon, sa totoo lang. Kaso masyado ko yatang na-enjoy ang pahinga hanggang ngayon tulog ako nang tulog. Dahil din dito, nanaba ako. Siguro nabibigatan na ako sa sarili ko kaya hirap akong kumilos. Daming arte 'no?

At dahil second quarter na, gusto ko ng pagbabago sa paligid ko. Siyempre dapat mag-umpisa iyon sa sarili ko. Pa'no kaya? Basta kailangan ko ng adventure dahil may pagka-boring na ang buhay ko. O baka ako lang 'to.

Ilan sa mga gusto kong gawin ay ang mga sumusunod:
- makapag-exercise, mag-gym, maka-jog o kahit anong makakapagpapawis
- mag-enroll sa dance studio, sosyal!
- mag-enroll ng computer course para mapaganda ang aking blog at ang blog ng school
- makapanood sa i-max (tama ba?) ng mall of Asia
- makapagturo na ulit sa PLMar
- makapag-attend ng workshop sa Ateneo, at ng kung anu-ano pang seminars
- at marami pang iba.

That's all. Thank you.

        Been almost six years since college graduation. Been in a number of organizations, with superiors of different personalities. From working with leaders,  being with them in victories and failures, deduced that in order for a leader to be effective, he/she must be a monster. One who has several eyes, that's funny. Here they are.
   
       For one, the good leader must have a foresight of what will happen in the future. He/she must have a vision of things to come and aims for it. He/she sees things before they happen. He/she anticipates for things to come. He/she has an idea what to expect, what the possible outcome would be. He/she may take risk, but it's a calculated risk. A leader without foresight has a tendency to become ill-prepared for the future.

       Aside from foresight, a good leader must have hindsight as well. He/she must be able to look back and see where he/she's done wrong,  where he/she's lacked or slacked. He/she must be able to take note of lessons from the past. He/she is capable of evaluating past activities and programs, and does not fear it. A leader without hindsight is a probable candidate for repeating the same mistake in the organization's future endeavors.

       A good leader is an overseer. He/she has a general view of the organization and its important components. He/she does not dwell so much on the details of activities. He/she has a bird's eyeview of the goings on in the organization, sees the whole picture and appreciates it. This leader is used to looking at things from a higher vantage point but never misses the specifics too.

      A good leader always has insight. He/she can see beyond what has taken place. He/she has lessons to learn from each situation. He/she can recollect his/her experiences and get meaning from them. Such a leader is not just intellectual but analytical and creative.

      If a leader is truly a monster who has foresight, hindsight, oversight, and insight, I wish to be that monster. 

    Wala lang. Miss ko lang si Moniq, my dear tutee. She's prep in our school. Came in second semester na. Had to help her be able to read. She's cute, bubbly, hyper, sweet, everything nice. Miss you, Moniq!

      Congrats kina mei, perlas at abi. You brought me back to the blogworld. Thanks, dear friends!

      Next chapter na ulit ako ng life ko. Pero di ko pa rin alam what's ahead. Still holding on... 

      Matutupad din ang mga pangarap ko. Unti-unting mararating kalangitan at bituin. Unti-unting kinabukasan ko'y magniningning...

      "You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you; and my people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that...I am the Lord your God and there is no other."  Joel 2:26

      Di ako pababayaan ng Diyos.